How Running Changes Me, Gently.

(once published in Medium.com, in February)

I remembered the time when I accomplished my very first Full Marathon — realizing the moment of torture, the craziest 26.2miles, the longest 6 hours in my life. However, that was a moment when I finally felt so content after living out of my life. I did my run, my longest run, with my body and mind. To break the limit and stigma inside me. After a twisted combination of a runner’s high, the shredded legs, burning sensation in my lungs, finally, I crossed that finish line.

This writing will simply become a gentle reminder, a quick note I want myself to remember, that running changes me in the most unimaginable way...

1. Running gradually separates me from the bad habit I used to keep for myself — Comparing myself with others

I used to be someone who loved to compete. simply because I hated to see myself losing, left behind, or forgotten. I found some depressing moments in life that made me hardly believe in my capacity, which turned out to destroy my confidence.

As I grew up through running, I met other fellow runners and it completely taught me to respect each other’s pace and capacity to go through the training plan. In the end, it was all about respecting every inch of the progress I made. I began to be very supportive and gentle towards my own process to achieve goals. Without any attempt to judge, or even underestimate.

2. It teaches me a lot about discipline, persistence, and flexibility

As an (always) amateur runner, to create and commit to a training plan is essential. It was tricky and hard to stick on it, while you were struggling to manage your workload at the same time. Even though I often got messed up, discouraged and felt guilty by missing some plans, I know that to hold a commitment requires time and sacrifice.

It’s quite a challenge to keep the work and training schedule balance, so I decided to be flexible about each week’s mileage target, the method, cross-training combined, and the rest day. What I feel this far by putting run into my daily routine is it shapes me to be a more structured and focused person.

3. Learn to slow down, it’s okay to take a break

When it comes to professional and business matters, I often have driven by the ‘all-out’ principle which somehow pictured through my action towards my work. As a Project Manager, to catch up on daily targets, timeline, meetings, not infrequently I was too excessive to bring them all at the same time. I transformed into someone who obsessively craves even for the slightest updates at the office.

I easily experiencing the syndrome of ‘fear of missing out’ inside me — simply for not allowing myself to take a break just to make sure that I missed nothing from my work. I used to be that person hated by everyone at the office; whose skills somehow intimidating or by showing an ‘always-working’ attitude. I always keep my work’s high pace steady, without realizing it that others must have different speeds towards their work.

And? It’s running again which eventually saves me. Throughout the whole timeline of my training plan, I learned that ‘rest days’ is a fundamental part to be taken seriously. It’s important to increase endurance significantly and speed up the pace. However, something that is no less important is taking rest days as seriously as you train. Slowing down the pace to train your heart zone steady at a low level, to recover, they are all part of the progress you are making. The principle is to train smart, not hard.

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It would be countless to talk about what running has done to me. It helped me to get back on track; to know myself deeper, better, and gentler. Shout out to all my running buddies whose spirit, laughs, excitement, stubbornness (for commitment, which is good) are contagious.

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Cheers to many more miles and races to come!